#SupportHerHustle | After-work drinks with a Matchmaker at Oscar bar, Charlotte Street Hotel

#SupportHerHustle is concept championing unity in women’s struggles and triumphs through sharing a diversity of narratives. It’s not so much ‘what do you do?’ but ‘what’s your hustle – your drive?’ which enriches the way we connect, inspire and motivate other women on their personal journey…
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I caught up with Ariadna D. Peretz, a certified matchmaker and Founder of Maitre D’ate matchmaking agency, recently relocated to London from Hong Kong where she worked as a matchmaker for the new generation of singles needing help finding love…

How did you become a matchmaker?

It all started when I realised some of my most awesome friends in Hong Kong (where I lived for five years) were single even though they didn’t want to be and shouldn’t be single because they were so awesome. I had never been single in Hong Kong so I wasn’t aware of how dysfunctional the dating scene is there. I began by asking friends and colleagues questions about their dating life and then started building a database of singles that would be open to me setting them up.

What are some of the most unlikely matches you’ve witnessed?

All couples make sense at one level or another so I don’t think I would call any match ‘unlikely’. Once you talk to them it makes sense.

You mentioned some stats about black women and Asian men being most marginalsied when it comes to dating. How do we see past stereotypes?

Yes, in the US (as per OKCupid co-founder, Christian Rudder, in his book Dataclysm) African American women and Asian men have the hardest time getting matches online. I am not sure if this is the same in the UK however. To get over any stereotype we 1) Have to want to get over it and 2) Just like discrimination in the other parts of our life, we need to be aware of our unconscious bias and make an effort to conquer it.

What are some of the benefits of going to a match-maker?

I’ll give you three:

a. You’re outsourcing the searching, vetting, interviewing, etc. This is great for time-poor individuals because they will have time and energy to dedicate to other things.

b. The coaching and introspective exercises matchmakers use ensure you are set up for success. For example, if you don’t have the confidence to flirt, your matchmaker will help you bring your A-game. Or if you’ve had a habit of dating negative people but want to change your ways, a matchmaker can help you. Here’s one of my worksheets that I love doing with people.

c. Dating can be emotionally draining and can disappoint and disillusion people to the extent they stop pursuing their goal. A matchmaker helps reduce the disappointment by introducing you to the right people and will keep you on track and work hard to keep you energetic and enthusiastic about the process.

Is there an ideal first date scenario?

Almost anything besides a sit-down meal. I would say go for an after-work drink and if things go well then you can decide together to go for dinner. Otherwise grabbing a coffee or juice and taking a stroll is good because it’s active, low financial investment, and you can bail whenever you please.

So tell me, are you more of a “Let’s do Lunch” or “Let’s do drinks” kinda girl?

Lunch is good (especially if it’s dim sum) but drinks (wine, juice or coffee) are better. But the best of the best? That would be “let’s get ice cream!”

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It was such a pleasure connecting with Ariadna for after-work drinks in the lively yet cosy atmosphere of Oscar bar… I have a feeling they’ll be a Let’s do Lunch NetworkMaitre D’ate event to look forward to in the near future!

📍Oscar Bar (Charlotte Street Hotel) 15-17 Charlotte St, Fitzrovia, London W1T 1RJ, UK Opening hours: 7am – 11pm (10.30pm Sundays)

Best for: After work drinks, table for two

Have you ever considered using a matchmaker to find love? Share your thoughts in the comment box below!

Kai x

So, when are we doing lunch?… or coffee?

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(p.s I’m “delightfully dyslexic so pls read past any typos, unless they’re embarrassing then in that case flag it up to me!)

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